{"title":"Colon Cleaner","description":null,"products":[{"product_id":"colon-cleaner-hot-sauce","title":"Colon Cleaner Hot Sauce","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cdiv itemprop=\"description\" class=\"oe_structure\" id=\"product_full_description\"\u003e\n\u003csection class=\"s_text_block   o_colored_level\" data-snippet=\"s_text_block\" data-name=\"Text\" data-oe-version=\"1.2\"\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProfessor Phardtpounders \"Colon Cleaner\" Original Formula Hot Sauce\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003e“Original Formula” – “Flushing Agent” – Elixir of Capsaicin Extremus!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eJust What the Doctor Ordered... \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003ePrepare yourself for a culinary experience like no other with\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProfessor Phardtpounders \"Colon Cleaner\" Original Formula Hot Sauce\u003c\/strong\u003e, a masterful creation of Caribbean-inspired mustard heat that brings flavor, fire, and a generous dose of humor to your table. This small-batch, artisanal hot sauce is not for the timid—it’s a tongue-in-cheek, medical-grade adventure in heat, designed to awaken your taste buds and, perhaps, your sense of humor.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eDubbed the\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Elixir of Capsaicin Extremus,”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eColon Cleaner Hot Sauce combines\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003efiery peppers, tangy mustard, and carefully balanced Caribbean spices\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eto deliver a bold, zesty heat with a distinctive island flair. While its legendary name suggests extreme results, the true magic of this sauce lies in its\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eunforgettable flavor, laughter-inducing charm, and culinary versatility\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eCrafted by Sauce Crafters\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eThis mischievously potent creation comes from the culinary wizards at Sauce Crafters, founded by CEO Charlie Schandelmayer in 1989. Originally devoted to crafting the perfect barbecue sauce, Charlie expanded into the world of specialty sauces, eventually producing over 130 unique recipes for clients across the food industry while continuing to develop his own inventive, flavor-forward sauces.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eColon Cleaner stands out as one of Sauce Crafters’ most playful and memorable offerings—combining bold Caribbean flavor, artisanal craftsmanship, and a wink of humor in every drop.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eThe “Medical” Magic\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eTrue to its tongue-in-cheek branding, Professor Phardtpounders’ Colon Cleaner is said to cure all manner of ailments—from the common cold to forgetfulness—though we cannot medically confirm these claims. What we can confirm is that it is\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eirresistibly delicious\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eStories abound from delighted customers:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eOne gentleman swears that after adding it to his morning eggs, he remembered his wife’s name.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eOthers report feeling invigorated, energized, and just plain good all over.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eWhether fact or folklore, this hot sauce\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003edelivers both flavor and fun\u003c\/strong\u003e, making it a conversation starter and a must-have addition to any spice enthusiast’s collection.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eFlavor and Heat Profile\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eColon Cleaner’s Original Formula is a\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCaribbean mustard-style hot sauce\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003efeaturing a complex blend of:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eFiery Caribbean peppers for bold heat\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eTangy mustard for bright, savory depth\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eAromatic spices to enhance every dish\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eThe result is a smooth, slightly tangy sauce that balances heat with flavor, providing a satisfying warmth that complements a wide variety of meals.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eCulinary Uses\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eThis versatile hot sauce is perfect for elevating both everyday meals and adventurous culinary creations. Ideal applications include:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eBurgers, hot dogs, and bratwursts\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eGrilled or baked pork chops and ribs\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eChicken wings, baked chicken, and roasted poultry\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eGrilled, sautéed, or roasted vegetables\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eRice and noodle dishes\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eFish, shrimp, and shellfish\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eA few drops can transform a simple dish into a flavorful, spicy experience, and the distinctive mustard base gives it a uniquely Caribbean flair.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eKeep a Bottle Close\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eNo kitchen—or hot sauce collection—is complete without a bottle of\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProfessor Phardtpounders \"Colon Cleaner\" Original Formula Hot Sauce\u003c\/strong\u003e. Its bold heat, unforgettable flavor, and playful, old-timey charm make it both a culinary and conversational essential.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Original Formula” – “Flushing Agent” – Elixir of Capsaicin Extremus!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eBring it to your table, pour it on your favorite meals, and prepare for laughter, heat, and a flavorful adventure that only Professor Phardtpounders can provide.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003eLive life with flavor. Enjoy the burn.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan class=\"h6-fs\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProfessor Phardtpounders \"Colon Cleaner\" Original Formula Hot Sauce\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003c\/section\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-oe-model=\"ir.ui.view\" data-oe-id=\"4387\" data-oe-field=\"arch\" data-oe-xpath=\"\/data\/xpath[2]\/div[2]\/div[1]\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cu\u003eIngredients:\u003c\/u\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cp data-oe-version=\"1.2\"\u003eWater, Red Wine Vinegar, Mustard (Water, Mustard Seed, Vinegar, Salt, Turmeric), Onion, Sugar, Habanero Peppers, Dijon Mustard (Vinegar, Water, Mustard Seed, Salt, Chardonnay Wine, Citric Acid, Tartaric Acid, Spices, Turmeric), Garlic Powder. Contains 2% Or Less Of: Salt, Turmeric, Onion Powder, Cayenne, Paprika, Xanthan Gum, Black Pepper, Spices, Coriander Powder\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Professor Phartpounders","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":31889492377663,"sku":"1288","price":8.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0200\/0680\/products\/1288CC.jpg?v=1583421167"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0200\/0680\/collections\/Colon_Cleaner_Tile.webp?v=1788359026","url":"https:\/\/unitedsauces.com\/collections\/colon-cleaner.oembed","provider":"United Sauces.","version":"1.0","type":"link"}